Financial planning for couples: How to manage joint finances

Making a romantic commitment is primarily about love and emotional connection however there’s no denying that financial considerations have a huge impact on the quality and stability of any long-term relationship. How can couples navigate money matters to maintain a healthy relationship? Check out our six tips on how to manage your finances as a couple.

Money and marriage: some statistics 

How couples earn, spend, save and share money are an integral part of contemporary relationships. Unfortunately, money is also a common source of dispute and disconnect for couples.

According to a 2024 Couples and Money survey:

• 1 in 4 couples say money is their greatest relationship challenge
• 1 in 4 partners admit to being frustrated by their partner’s money habits
• 45% of partners say they argue about money at least occasionally
• Only 57% of couples say they make day-to-day financial decisions jointly
• 34% of couples disagree on their family’s next big savings goal

All of which indicate that talking about money remains a huge challenge in many marriages and long-term romantic partnerships.

We have the following advice on money matters to help couples navigate joint finances without coming to blows.

Six financial planning tips for couples

1. Set aside time to discuss finances

One of the main reasons money becomes a source of tension in relationships is that many couples avoid talking about it altogether. In fact, one surprising statistic in the Couples and Money survey shows that 36% of couples disagree on how much income their partner actually earns! That’s a major red flag and often a sign that regular communication about money is lacking.

To avoid misunderstandings and foster transparency, make it a habit to schedule regular ‘money dates’ – ideally once a month or at key moments (like before a big purchase or a holiday). These don’t have to be long or formal; even a 30-minute check-in can make a big difference.

During these discussions, aim to cover the basics including income and expenditure, changes in your financial situation and specific worries either partner has.

2. Set common goals

One of the best ways to strengthen your financial partnership is to establish shared goals. Working toward clear financial goals together will help you feel like teammates rather than adversaries when it comes to money.

Start by identifying short-term goals, such as paying down credit card debt, building an emergency fund or saving for a holiday or large purchase. You should also set longer term goals such as buying a home, paying off a mortgage, planning for your children’s education and deciding when and how to retire.

Having a clear financial roadmap not only helps reduce stress and confusion, but also builds trust, especially during challenging times. It can also prevent the kind of resentment that builds when one partner feels they’re pulling more weight or sacrificing more than the other.

Make sure to revisit your goals regularly during your monthly financial check-ins, and importantly, after major life changes.

3. Agree how to split bills

Few things cause tension faster than unclear expectations about who pays for what. Whether you’re cohabiting, married, or planning a future together, it’s essential to agree on a fair and transparent approach to splitting expenses.

Should everything be split 50/50? Or should contributions be based on income, with the higher earner contributing more? There’s no universal right or wrong answer – it all depends on what feels fair to both of you. The key is to have an honest conversation and make a conscious decision together.

Here are three possible approaches:

• Equal split – You divide all expenses down the middle.
• Proportional split – Each partner contributes a percentage based on their income.
• Divide and conquer – One partner pays certain bills (e.g. rent), the other covers others (e.g. groceries, utilities).

Whatever method you choose, make sure both partners feel the arrangement is equitable – not just financially, but emotionally. And remember, your strategy doesn’t have to be set in stone. As your life changes (a new job, children, buying a home), it’s important to revisit and adjust your approach.

4. Be open about debts 

Debt can be a sensitive topic, but honesty is essential – especially in a committed relationship. Whether it’s a student loan, credit card balance or personal loan, being upfront about what you owe builds trust and helps you plan effectively as a couple.

This is particularly important if you share finances or plan to in the future. For example, if you open a joint bank account or apply for a mortgage together, your individual credit scores and debt levels can impact your partner’s financial standing and ability to borrow.

Start by laying everything out on the table in terms of amounts owed, interest rates and minimum payment and type of debt. Then work out a plan for repayment that makes sense to both of you whether you decide to handle debts separately or create a joint plan to pay them off faster.

5. Decide on separate or joint accounts

Choosing between joint and separate bank accounts is a significant decision for couples, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Joint accounts can offer transparency and simplify the management of shared expenses, fostering a sense of teamwork. However, some individuals may feel uneasy about relinquishing complete autonomy over their finances.

A common approach is to maintain a joint account for shared costs – such as rent, utilities, and groceries – while also keeping individual accounts. This hybrid model allows for both collective financial planning and personal spending freedom.

It’s important to note that joint accounts require a high level of trust. Both partners have equal access to the funds, and either can withdraw money independently. Additionally, in the event of debt or overdraft, the bank may hold both parties equally responsible, regardless of who incurred the charges.

Ideally, couples should discuss their financial preferences and establish a system that works for both parties early in the relationship. However, it’s never too late to have this conversation. Open communication about finances is key to building a healthy and trusting partnership.

6. Work with an adviser to reduce financial stress as a couple

If you and your partner find yourselves frequently arguing about finances or struggling to align your financial goals, seeking professional guidance can be a game-changer.

Couples who collaborate with a financial adviser often experience improved communication and a clearer shared vision for the future. According to Fidelity’s 2024 Couples & Money study, couples who work with a financial professional are more likely to agree on their retirement plans, find it easier to initiate money conversations, and feel more confident about their financial health.

A financial adviser can serve as a neutral third party, facilitating open discussions about money and helping you both understand each other’s financial perspectives. They can assist in creating a comprehensive financial plan that aligns with your shared goals and suggest how they can best be achieved through saving and investing.

Additionally, working with a financial adviser can provide peace of mind, knowing that you have a professional helping to navigate complex financial decisions and ensuring that both partners are on the same page.

Remember, it’s never too late to start building a healthier financial relationship.

If you feel that as a couple, you would benefit from the support of a financial adviser, take a  proactive step towards reducing financial stress and strengthening your partnership for the long term and get in touch today.